I remember the sound of my heels clicking against the warm concrete as I said goodbye. If I’ve ever been emotionally destroyed, it was then. All I’ve ever done was love you unconditionally.
I was never looking for someone perfect, but when I looked at you and all your imperfections you were perfect for me.
That’s why it was so difficult too leave.
All this time I have loved you, all this time, no matter what you had done to me or said to me, I still loved you.
I realized I was losing myself completely, and I felt like I was losing you. I knew I didn’t deserve to be pushed around. Especially by you.
I wanted so badly too be happy, with you again. I wanted so badly for you too appreciate me and for you too look at me and fall in love with me over and over and over..again.
Because that’s how I looked at you.
I looked at you and smiled and thought to myself, how could I love so much for one person.
How could I give my everything to one person and still have it all taken for granted.
I felt so incredibly insecure and shattered.
So when I walked away, I wished for you too run behind me and grab my hand and tell me you were sorry.
In those ten seconds of me walking, I wished for you too want me as much as I’ve always wanted you.
The clicking of heels were piercing, each step,
click, clack, click, clack, click, clack
I felt myself slowly detaching myself from you.
I couldn’t bear to look at you, because I was already crying by then.
I couldn’t feel.
I was so entirely numb.
I was numb for awhile.
A day later you came searching for me and for my love.
You wouldn’t let me go, you didn’t want me too leave you.
When you slipped your hands into the crevices of mine and held it to your face, you just cried.
You spilled your heart out too me, and told me everything that made me want to stay.
You put your face so close to mine and told me you loved me so much and couldn’t bear to have me leave.
Truth is, I couldn’t bear to leave either.
I just wanted you too show me you loved me, and not have me assume.
Because I knew you loved me, but when you cried your heart out and told me you’d change something inside me escalated.
I missed that feeling.
That’s the feeling I’ve longed for.
Leaving you wasn’t just the epitome of ending something. It was the beginning to something that could be way more beautiful. Because now, we can learn to grow into each other.